Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ashley's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 25th, 2009
6:44 pm	Risen from the dead Hello LJ, do you remember me? It's been ages since I last posted on here and so much has happened. I graduate from college in a mere 3 weeks which is absolutely crazy in my eyes. My love life is a jumble of comings and goings. I don't really know which way to turn. I don't really have time to go too in depth as I'm currently in the middle of writing a 10 page debate paper. So until then... wait. :P Current Music: Even Flow - Pearl Jam (Comment on this)
Monday, August 27th, 2007
9:36 pm	Dejumblings So I dunno if anyone actually reads this anymore, but I need a place to organize my thoughts. I've been jumbled up, and not writing here regularly has just furthered the jumbling process. Well the summer's over and I have no money to show for it. Well... that's a lie, I do have some money... just not as much as I would have liked. Next summer I need to buckle down and save my money for that online class. I tend to spend way too much of it on stuff I don't really need. Typical. But it only happens when I'm at home. At school I have better control over my money. I think I get bored when I'm at home so I go out and buy stuff, lol. I dunno. I'm usually very cheap but lately I seem to have it in my head that by the time I graduate from college, but that's just illogical. I want some kind of financial security, so I need to buckle down and return to my cheap ways. Ugh. I hate new semesters. They only perpetuate my money problem. But luckily I only spent about $150-$200 for books this semester which is a HUGE improvement to the $500 I spent last semester. So money is one problem. Another is my current health situation. I went to see a "specialist" on PCOS in the area and that turned up nothing. He basically told me he wasn't going to help me because I wasn't looking to get pregnant within the next year. However, he did tell me that I'm at a high risk for uterine cancer since I haven't had a period in 5 years, so I'm gonna get that checked out during Fall Break. I've never had a pelvic exam before so I'm a bit nervous, but I have to do it sometime, right? After that I'm gonna start on a birth control pill that will lower my uterine cancer risk as well as induce periods. And while I'm on my period I'm going to work my ass off to loose weight. The problem with PCOS is everything could be changed if I lost the weight, but I can't loose the weight by myself. I would have to either get surgery or take some drugs that possibly wouldn't work correctly. Ugh it's such a pain! Enough of that. Now onto school. I've set some rather strict goals for myself this year. I mean, it's my Junior year, and I'm gonna do it right. I WILL make straight A's at least once before I graduate, I WILL loose this weight, and I WILL be healthy before I graduate. On the up side, the three classes I had today should be interesting. One of them I have with Tiffany................... UGH! (I seriously love that word now) I'm glad I like everyone else in the class, especially the professor. She rocks socks. The other two professors I've never had before but one everyone on campus loves and the other reminds me of Fay, my step grandmother. Life is confusing. My Christian life is messed up, and I'm trying to get that back on track. Kenny's leaving for basic in December so that's exciting. It's funny, but coming back to Geneva has kinda given me a new hope. Usually when I'm poor I feel so depressed and down in the dumps like there's no hope to ever get out, but I'm applying at the coffee house on campus so I'm hoping to save up some money during the year. I feel hopeful for once. Well I'm gonna get off here. I have too much going on at the moment. Current Mood: Jumble-ized (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 20th, 2007
2:30 pm	Announcement Well, I never thought it would have to come to this, but recent activities have driven me to the following. From this point forward, my journal is... FRIENDS ONLY! If you want added, comment me, tell me who you are and you better have a damn good case for me adding you. Thank you and have a nice day. :) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
9:33 pm	Confession Time... Well, if any of you read the Cecil Whig then you might know this already. In mid August my dad announced to my brothers and me that he wants to be a woman. Today it hit the Whig because he got an official name change. Jamie, Eric... if you ever see a Kristy running around CCC... that's my dad. Well, it was my dad. Sometimes I think my life belongs in the movies. I'll be home Friday and I'm not sure if I'm ready to face everyone now that they know... (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 25th, 2007
2:10 pm	I am so excited to go home on Friday. It feels like it's been forever since I was last in Maryland and it's only been like a month and a half. This week is gonna be kinda crazy. I have a presentation on Thursday and I also have half of a big project due on Thursday. AND a Teaching of Reading test tomorrow. Fun, huh? Lol. Otherwise the week is fairly normal. I have a lot to do over Spring Break. I have to do a Case Study on a Special Education student, I have to do an observation for Teaching of Math, I have to visit a historical Pennsylvania site for History, I have job application/interviews for the summer, I have to schedule my surgery, I will hopefully have a doctor's appointment, I gotta get together with some friends, I want to get my hair cut off, I could probably work on my Assessment project, I have to go shopping for "teacher clothes" (I know... me shopping... scary), and I think that's it. There's probably something I'm forgetting but I'm pretty much doing something for every class I have, lol. Friday can't come fast enough. I'll probably pack on Friday since I'll be done classes at 10 am and my plane doesn't leave til 9:30 pm. Five more days. :) (Comment on this)
Friday, February 2nd, 2007
7:13 am	It's amazing how just the little things people say can make all the difference in someone's attitude. Lately, I've been battling my depression full force. I couldn't shake it and I was just falling deeper and deeper into the whole. Then, all of a sudden, I noticed that things in my life were kinda falling into place and that pulled me up some and I felt myself returning to who I am. Then I began being myself again. You know how people put those bulletins on MySpace that you answer with a message? Yeah, well I've been answering those. And I try to answer them in funny ways because I want them to smile. Colton (my ex-almost cousin... long story) has been sending them out a lot and every time I answer one, he replies with "You're awesome" and just that two-three word comment sends me over the moon. I never thought that hearing someone say that to me would make me feel so good about myself. Also, I got randomly complimented on Monday. I was eating breakfast by myself in the Brig, looking over my Math homework for that night and one of the ladies that work there walked past. I didn't think anything of it, but when she walked back past me on her way back to the Brig, she told me I have pretty hair. And that made my day. What's more important is I'm happy that I can made my friends happy again. I don't focus on myself as much as I was and I want to help my friends and I want to give advice and I just feel like me again. It's one of the best feelings in the world. Current Mood: happy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 20th, 2007
12:06 pm	Well a lot has happened since I last updated so here's the Reader's Digest version. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask. - Tiffany has reported me to the Dean of Students for "harassment" - I'm getting one hell of a tax refund and I'm excited :D - I got my Special Ed Field Experience placement in a preschool for special needs kids so now I need a phyiscal and another TB shot - I've been sick for the past few days... I suspect it's stress - My dad died And I thnk that's about it. There's probably more but you know my memory. All in all I feel pretty good. I'm gonna try this new diet I've found. It's more about eating right than eating crappy ass diet food. Starting Monday I plan on getting back into the swing of things (aka get my butt back down to the fitness center, haha). Oh, by the way, no one had better feel bad that my dad died because technically he's still alive. He's just dead in my eyes. And I couldn't be happier. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 11th, 2007
10:43 am	New Semester So this semester is going to be crazy. The first day back Hannah and I were talking about how neither of us had ever gotten straight A's and she was like "You could. You just don't care." And that got me to thinking... what if I did try? I mean, I get A's and B's without trying so let's really try one semester and see what comes of it. So that's my experiment for this semester. I'm attempting straight A's... and so far so good. I've had one quiz so far and got a 100 on it. Right now I'm testing the water on two of my classes to see if reading the chapters is essential in them. If they aren't then I'm not going to bother. If they are, however, I'll read them as much as I can. But that's all for now. I'm going to Ohio this weekend with some friends (we're going to Jess' house) since we have a long weekend. And we're gonna celebrate Hannah's birthday while we're there (but don't tell her that!). Oh, by the way, I got my computer back, lol. Yay! Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 31st, 2006
9:43 am	Surgery So I went to the surgeon on Friday afternoon and it looks like I'll be getting surgery in early May, after the spring semester is over. He told me it would be a 30-40 minute out-patient surgery where they would just cut down into the fatty tissue and remove the cyst. Almost like coring an apple as my grandfather put it. I wouldn't be able to drive for about a week after, I'd have stitches for 2-3 weeks (so no showers... eww), and I wouldn't be able to strain that area for about a month. Which includes sitting on the toliet. My surgeon told me laxatives would be my friend for that month, haha. But that's about all there is to report. I cannot wait til 2006 is over. Bring on '07 and let's pray that it's better! Happy New Year! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
12:52 am	Christmas So my Christmas was good. Not too much under the tree but I really don't care this year. It's not about getting stuff. I'm just worried about getting books for next semester. They're gonna cost me $568 this semester. Ouch. Lately I've been so anxious about my grades because I did horribly this semester. I didn't even think I had gotten one A. So I looked them up tonight and guess what... I DIDN'T FAIL! These were my grades: Humanities C (Hell yes.. I started with an F after like the first two grades) Integrating Arts A Ed Psych B+ Foundations of Ed B+ Gym A (and I missed three weeks of that class which I made up) Field Experience A Technology B+ I'm so happy. That made my Christmas right there. I can't wait til next semester. I have a semi-easy schedule: MONDAY: 8-9:20 History 9:30-10 Teaching of Reading TUESDAY: 12:30-1:50 Exceptionalities 2-3:20 Field Experience 3:30-4:50 Ed Assessment WEDNESDAY: 8-9:20 History 9:30-10 Teaching of Reading 10:15-11 Chapel THURSDAY: 12:30-1:50 Exceptionalities 3:30-4:50 Ed Assessment FRIDAY: 8-9:20 History 9:30-10 Teaching of Reading (all but one education class) I can't wait. But first I want to enjoy my break. I'm gonna try not to let my stress get to me so much. I've taken up knitting! Crafts destress me... knitting, crotcheting, sewing... maybe I just gotta keep my hands busy and my mind on the tv, lol. Talk to y'all later! Btw... I got POTC 2 for Christmas. Thank you, Billy. <3 Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 16th, 2006
2:11 pm	Last night Kenny, Kyle and Gabe were in a car accident. They were t-boned by some chick who was only concerned about if her dog was alright. Of course, the lady walked away unharmed. Kyle's fine, Gabe broke his wrist in two places and took an airbag to the face, Kenny (who's side got hit) has 3 stitches in the back of his head, a bruised elbow, cuts and scrapes all over the place and he had glass all over him, too (eyes, ears, hair, arms, etc). They're lucky to be alive, but keep praying that they'll heal fast. Thanks to everyone who was praying for them last night! Btw... I'm home til January 8th (Comment on this)
Monday, December 11th, 2006
11:45 am	And so it begins It's the most wonderful time of the year... That's right. Finals! Today is Reading Day here at good ol' GC. And my first final is at 5:30 tonight. Integrating Educational Technology into Teaching which is a fairly easy class since I'm fairly computer literate, haha. I'm not too worried about it. So here's my schedule for this week: MON: Humanities Essays; Tech Final 5:30 TUE: Humanities Essays; Laundry/Packing WED: Humanities Final 10:10; Integrating the Arts final project THU: Foundations Final 8:00; Ed Psych Final 10:10; Presenting final project; home I can't wait! I'm only really worried about Humanities and Foundations but I should be fine. I hope. Pray for me guys. I need it, haha. I just can't wait to be rid of all this drama. I just wanna go home, relax at my new house (which I've spent less than a week in), and see all my family and have a great Christmas. I love Christmas. Mostly because it means I get to see almost my entire family. Well I gotta go get cracking on these essays. See ya! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
1:45 am	It's depressing to read through my LJ friends and see how everyone's lives are falling apart. It really hurts me to see them going through these things and knowing I have no way to help them. But in some sick, twisted way, it helps. It's nice to know I'm not the only one in the world who's having problems. They say misery loves company. Maybe that's what I want. Company. But really, I hate to see my friends going through this and it kinda depresses me. I want to help but I have no way to. Sigh. Late nights depress me period. Too much thinking for my own good. Current Mood: tired (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 20th, 2006
10:02 am	We're Moving! WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!! So I come home Tuesday night and Wednesday morning we will be moving back to Rising Sun. The sooner we get out of North East, the better. Haha. I hate living in that town. Ok. So we're moving into the new Maple Heights apartments. They're behind PBO and Curves. Across from the American Legion. It'll be so nice to be back in Rising Sun and closer to family. But yeah. Now to get ready for class. Nanner and I are leaving here around 12:30 tomorrow afternoon then going to West Virginia to pick up Kate Peoples and then we'll be on our way home. I'll see y'all in a few days! Love ya! <33 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
10:37 pm	And wheee! Ok y'all, so I'm back to happy updates. For now. Hopefully. My butt is healing beautifully. At least I'm assuming it is because I really cannot see it. Except for in the mirror and I've never seen it without the packing. I go back to the surgeon on Thursday for my follow up so hopefully I won't need packing any more after that. And hopefully I'll be seeing my family doctor during either Thanksgiving or Christmas break so I can schedule a time to get my cyst removed for good. That's right. I'm openly volunteering for surgery, lol. I don't wanna risk it getting infected and drained again. Ouch! >.< I'm feeling the end of the semester stress. Every professor is piling up the homework now before break, but whatever. Now that I'm rid of the Jon drama, I'm happier and can concentrate on the important stuff better. Like schoolwork. I feel really happy today, and I'm not sure why. I see all my friends and they're in happy, meaningful relationships and it makes me happy. Chris found someone, Dan's happy, Glen and Ces are each happy in seperate relationships, etc. The only person I'm worried about is Aaron, but I'm here for him. And I'm glad I can focus on him as opposed to my own issues. I just feel good... except for the paper I still have to write. xD It's only 2-3 pages so I'm not too worried. But I gotta get going so bye! Love ya! 9 Days til Thanksgiving Break Current Mood: happy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
3:45 pm	Best Friends What exactly is a best friend? Webster's Dictionary defines "friend" as (1) a person whom one knows well and is fond of; (2) an ally, supporter, or sympathizer. And it defines "best" as (1) of GOOD; (2) most excellent; (3) most suitable, desirable, etc.; (4) largest. And those are the definitions of best when used as an adjective. So is a "best friend" the most excellent ally? The most suitable supporter? Or how about the largest person one is fond of? Now, granted, I am skewing these definitions and using them in the wrong context, but I'd still like to know what makes a best friend. What are the qualifications that make certain friends better than the others? Last night I took a poll to see what people thought qualified a person as a best friend. I polled 25 people and asked them "What are three qualities you'd say make a best friend?". These are my results... 18 Trustworthy 12 Loyalty 10 Good Listener/Communication 8 Sense of Humor/Fun to be around 6 Dependability 5 Honesty 5 Shared Interests 5 Understanding 5 Caring 5 Comforter/Encourager 1 Forgiveness 1 Humility 1 Courage 1 Respect 1 Good in bed I don't know the person who said "good in bed". It was a friend of a friend, but none-the-less it was said and is therefore part of my poll. Also, some gave more than three qualities while others gave only one or two. So let's see... the four highest qualities were trustworthy (18), loyalty (12), good listener/communication (10), and sense of humor/fun to be around (8). Sounds good, right? Well, let's test that. Jamie (forgive me for using you as an example) is my friend. Do I trust her? Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't invite her to my house or do things with her. Is she loyal? I'm pretty sure Jamie's never abandoned me for someone else. Is she a good listener? Sure. I tell her stuff. Does she have a sense of humor or is she fun to be around? Of course! Who wants to hang out with a boring person? So does this make Jamie my best friend? No. Why? I don't know. Why do I classify Jamie as a "friend" and Danielle a "best friend" when they both have all four of those qualities? Some people might say that your best friend is the one you've known the longest. Well, I've known Jamie for 8 years and I've known Danielle for about half that. Some people might say that your best friend is the one who stuck by your side through the hardest times in your life. That would qualify because Danielle was there when my dad had cancer, and Jamie and I weren't really talking at that time (and it was no one's fault). I bet y'all are wondering what brought this up, huh? I was talking to someone who I consider to be a best friend. I will admit that I got a little mouthy towards him last night and did give him a bit of an attitude. So before he signed off in a huff, he said that if I ever wanted to talk to my best friend again, I'd watch my attitude. Might I add that this past week (during the whole situation with my butt), he's been suspiciously absent. He didn't answer my texts or calls or even get online to see if I was still alive. He disappeared, and I felt extremely lonely and neglected. In my eyes, he hasn't exactly been acting like a best friend. I don't see any of those qualities in him right now. He's not dependable, he's not a good listener, he's not forgiving, he's not a comforter... and due to past events he's proven he isn't honest, loyal, and he doesn't respect me as a person. So am I justified in questioning this friendship? Is this guy "qualified" enough to be my best friend when the qualifications themselves are very unclear? Or am I being stupid and making a mountain out of a mole hill? Am I simply acting out and saying these things about him because I'm hurt? I mean, I love him. He's a good friend when he wants to be, but he can also be extremely hurtful, and I don't think he realizes just how much he hurts me. So I dunno. Just ignore this. I guess it's kind of a rant with no cussing and no true anger behind it... just hurt. Thank you to everyone who put up with my polling last night. I appreciate it. Current Mood: hurt (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
10:40 pm	Yay! Butt Updates! So let's talk about how my day went, shall we? I woke up at 6:20 because I had a doctor's appointment at 6:55 this morning. I was a little late getting out of my apartment so I open the door to a hall full of balloons. Odd? Yes. But ok. I can deal with that. So I turned the corner and entered a hall covered in a web of string that I had to pick my way through. I knocked over the Recycling Bin but I don't care. Then I entered the stairs where someone had taped bubble wrap to the stairs! So I had to walk down them without making too much noise so that I didn't wake anyone up. So I got to the doctor's office where the doctor decided I needed to have my cyst cut open and drained for it to heal right. Great. So I was gonna go eat but I realized I had to get to class so I ran back up to my room (with all the obstacles) and got my books before running back down to class figuring I could eat afterwards since I was skipping gym. Wrong. By the time class was out I had three voicemails. Two from the school nurse and one from the surgeon. That's right. At 9:30 I was informed that at 10:30 I was going to the surgeon to get my cyst cut open and drained. I was a nervous wreck. So I went to the surgeon where I experienced the worst pain I ever felt in my entire life. I was biting my left hand while squeezing Nurse Connie's hand with my right. They numbed me but I felt absolutely EVERYTHING! I can't imagine what it would've been liked if they hadn't have numbed me. I also almost passed out twice, too. Once on the table... I got really hot and I thought I was either gonna pass out or vomit and the same feeling as I was waiting for the lady to schedule me on Thursday. Then I came back to school, ate, and went to my field experience. Then I had an advisor meeting and then I came back and finally relaxed. Then I went and chaperoned two 20 year olds and a 19 year old as they trick-or-treated. And then I talked to Brandon for like 3 hours on the phone. I still haven't eaten dinner. :( But I'm not really that hungry. All I've eaten today was lunch. So yeah. That was my day and I dunno what else to write... I'm thinking about the pizza in the fridge. So bye! Current Mood: in pain (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 28th, 2006
2:26 pm	The 4-1-1 Ok, y'all. So my cousin, Nanner, took me to the hospital this morning. Turns out it wasn't my tailbone at all. I have a cyst. And it's infected. The doctor told me that if I had let it keep going it would've become an absess and then it would've had to be cut open and drained. Ewwww. So yeah. Apparently this cyst is just an enlarged hair follicle that's present at birth and looks like a dimple. Since it has access to surface bacteria it can get infected. Which is what happened to mine. So yeah. I gotta take these pills 4 times a day for a week and check with a doctor in 1-2 days. I'm glad it's not my tailbone! But this still hurts! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 27th, 2006
5:16 pm	Ouuuuuuch Ok... if you've never hurt your tailbone I do NOT recommend it. At all. I don't even know how I hurt mine but I can barely sit right now. I can't even lay down without it hurting. I dunno what I did. It's swollen and tender and red. My friend Brandon, who used to be an EMT, thinks I may've cracked it. Great. I'm gonna go to the nurse first thing Monday morning. I may have to go get x-rays and what not. But tonight I'm begging Tiff to take me to Wal-Mart so I can get a doughnut and tons of Tylenol! Pray for me, guys. God it hurts so bad. >. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 5th, 2006
1:56 pm	Lalalala So yeah. I really don't know what to say right now. Life is kinda iffy right now. I'm relieved to have my Foundations midterm over with. It went alright. I hope. It was a lot of writing and I know of about 7 points or so that I missed. I'm hoping and praying for a B. I really should be writing my paper on The Awakening for Humanities right now. The only problem is, I never read the entire book. I ran out of time. Hannah suggested I read the last few chapters (and each chapter is like a page long). It's a good idea and I might try to but otherwise Spark Notes is my friend. <3 I heart that site. Anyway. The weekend is just around the corner. This week went by faster than I expected which is nice because I get to the weekend faster but it's also bad because I got to my midterm and paper faster than I wanted to. *grumbles* Oh well. This is my last "free" weekend before I go home. Next weekend my family (including TJ) will be here for Homecoming. Oh yeah. Mrs B will be here, too, and so will Uncle Tim, Aunt Linda, Lauren, Steve, baby Isaac, and I think that's it from Nanner's family, lol. It should be a fun weekend. But this weekend Hannah, Becky, Jess and I are having our weekly pizza/movie night on Friday I believe. It'll be a nice reward after this crazy ass week. And then the following weekend I'll be home for Fall Break. Yay! Fall Break will be nice. From what I know, Jamie, Savvy and I are gonna try to do something on Saturday, the either Monday or Tuesday I'm going to ECA to see my kids from this summer. I miss them. But yeah. I need to get rolling. Read some of this book and read Spark Notes. I need to write this 3 page paper on what man is as revealed by Kate Chopin through her writing. Can you say ridiculous? I know. Love ya! 9 Days til I see my family! 15 Days til I go home! Current Mood: eh (Comment on this)